In December 2022, dancer Allison Holker faced the unimaginable when her husband, Stephen "tWitch" Boss, was found dead. After a frantic day of searching for him, she discovered he had been battling deep-seated issues, including drug addiction and unresolved childhood trauma. This tragic event left Holker as a single mother to three children, grappling with profound grief and unexpected revelations about her late husband's struggles. In her upcoming memoir, This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light, Holker shares her emotional journey from the moment police arrived at her door to inform her of the devastating news.
Unraveling the Mystery: The Search for Stephen
Allison's day began like any other, but soon it turned into a desperate search for her missing husband. As temperatures dipped in Los Angeles, Holker's internal turmoil grew more intense. She searched the house, finding a letter from Stephen dated two weeks earlier, where he pledged to reduce his marijuana use. Despite her fears, she held onto hope that he might have checked into a rehabilitation center. Her efforts included filing a missing person report and contacting various recovery centers, all while questioning if law enforcement would put in the necessary effort to find a Black man.
Holker’s trust in the authorities wavered as they asked probing questions about their relationship and Stephen's background. She insisted on Stephen's loyalty and love, emphasizing their recent anniversary trip. Security footage showed Stephen leaving in an Uber with his backpack. When officers discovered an unlocked gun case and a missing firearm, the gravity of the situation became apparent. Despite her hopes, the reality struck hard when a third officer delivered the heartbreaking news that Stephen had taken his own life in a hotel room. His tattoos, which held deep personal significance, served as a final identifying mark, symbolizing both his love and his struggles.
Facing the Unthinkable: Grief and Healing
The moment the officer confirmed Stephen's death, Holker's world came to a standstill. The shock and disbelief were overwhelming. She could not comprehend how the man she loved so deeply could be gone. Her scream echoed through the house, a raw expression of pain and loss. Collapsing on the floor, she felt the walls closing in, suffocating her. The phrase "the world stopped" took on new meaning as time seemed to freeze, and she struggled to accept the reality of Stephen's passing.
In the aftermath, Holker found herself a single mother to three young children, navigating the complexities of grief while trying to provide stability. Her memoir delves into the depths of her emotions, recounting the days following Stephen's death. She describes the support she received from friends and family, as well as the challenges of raising her children without their father. Holker also reflects on the hidden demons Stephen faced, including his battle with drug addiction and unresolved childhood trauma. Through her writing, she seeks to honor his memory and find light in the darkness, embracing the strength within herself to move forward.