In the Fall of 2023, just after the strike that had gripped both Los Angeles and New York, I found myself among fellow t-shirt-clad writers and actors. We had spent months picketing studios and streamers, fighting for higher wages, better healthcare, streaming residuals, and more protections against the encroachment of A.I. At last, deals were reached, but the strike had lasted longer than any of us had anticipated. It had depleted the savings of many in our industry and shaken our hope and confidence in our ability to work in the future. We were all scared, and I was no exception. All we wanted was to get back to work and deserve better.

Holiday Movie Opportunity Amidst Uncertainty

A few weeks later, around the holidays, I received a script for a fun holiday movie called "Our Little Secret" for Netflix, with Lindsay Lohan attached. The role was "Leonard," a button-up guy in his sixties. I couldn't believe it! Playing older is often a big no-no in Hollywood. We're usually told to "ALWAYS play younger" and, if possible, thinner. But work was scarce, and I was willing to overlook my vanity if they were okay with my man-Spanx and greying hair.Even better, I would be playing Kristin Chenoweth's husband! I'm a huge fan of hers, and it had been a long time since I had a role like this. Not just playing a husband, but a real, meaningful one. I've played dozens over the years, from Tim Meadows' husband on an NBC comedy to Jeff Perry's husband on "Scandal" for almost 30 episodes. We even had a baby together. This time, I wanted the story to end a little differently.When I got the script, I liked it. But my role, Leonard, didn't have a lot of scenes or lines. We've all heard the saying "there are no small parts, only small actors," but this felt different. It was a small part, and I wasn't sure if my ego could handle it. I whined to my representatives, suggesting I be a background performer in most scenes. One of them advised me to pass, feeding my ego with my past accomplishments. Another told me to wait for something better. But waiting was what I had been doing for the past six to eight months, and the pandemic had only added to the uncertainty.(L-R) Ian Harding, Dan Bucatinsky, Kristin Chenoweth, and Lindsay Lohan. Chuck Zlotnick/NetflixI thought about it over the holidays. "Wait for something better," I kept telling myself. But what else was I going to do? Lick my wounds of unemployment and imagine myself in projects that didn't exist?Then I remembered my friend, colleague, and previous boss, Shonda Rhimes. In her book "The Year of Yes," she said, "Losing yourself does not happen all at once. Losing yourself happens one 'no' at a time." I remembered starting out as an actor, dreaming of any opportunity and vowing to accept them gratefully. Where had that determination gone?So, I got over myself. I let go of my ego and hubris. I said "yes" to the offer to play "Leonard" and went to Atlanta in February. And it was the best decision I could have made.The month in Atlanta with Kristin Chenoweth, Ian Harding, Jon Rudnitsky, Katie Baker, Jake Brennan, Tim Meadows, Judy Reyes, and Lindsay was an incredibly enriching, satisfying, challenging, and fun experience. Kristin and I became instant friends, and together, we brought the marriage on the page to life with a real sense of history, chemistry, humor, and all the tensions of a true troubled marriage. The cast spent time together on and off set, creating an immediate intimacy needed to portray a genuine family on screen.(L-R) Dan Bucatinsky, Jake Brennan, and Kristin Chenoweth in Our Little Secret. Chuck Zlotnick/NetflixSteven Harek was very encouraging of our collaboration, ad libs, and suggestions. Before long, Leonard became a more integral part of the story, a real, long-term couple with grown kids and a treasure trove of secrets that would be revealed as the movie unfolded.I will always count my castmates among my most valued and close friends. Kristin and I have forged a deep friendship that feels meant to be and will be a part of who we are for a long time to come. "Our Little Secret" premieres on Netflix on November 27th. Who knew that one of the secrets to playing a successful family was to create a sense of family off screen? The other secret? Say "yes."