Marilyn Chinitz, a veteran divorce attorney who has worked with high-profile clients, shares her unique perspective on the intricacies of marriage. Despite her professional experience in the dissolution of relationships, Chinitz has maintained a successful 38-year marriage, offering a rare and insightful view on the keys to marital bliss.

Unlocking the Secrets to a Lasting Union: An Attorney's Marital Wisdom

Building a Strong Foundation: The Unspoken Essentials

Chinitz emphasizes that a rock-solid foundation built on shared values is critical for a marriage to succeed. However, she notes that this foundation doesn't necessarily require explicit discussions. "We never talked about this foundation or asked about each other's values," Chinitz explains. "If you talk, someone can tell you what you want to hear. You really get to know someone's values by observing them."Chinitz's approach to understanding her partner's values through observation rather than direct questioning highlights the importance of paying attention to actions and behaviors rather than relying solely on verbal cues. This subtle yet powerful insight underscores the significance of truly knowing one's partner on a deeper level, beyond the surface-level conversations.

Maintaining the Spark: The Art of Continuous Dating

Chinitz's marriage serves as a testament to the enduring power of romance and adventure. "I still act like I'm dating Piero," she reveals. "We go on adventures to museums and art galleries. We'll drive two hours together just to try a new restaurant, and we've taken impulsive long weekend trips to London and Stockholm."This dedication to keeping the spark alive, even after decades of marriage, highlights the importance of continuously investing time and effort into the relationship. Chinitz's approach challenges the notion that the excitement and spontaneity of a new relationship must inevitably fade over time. By prioritizing shared experiences and exploration, she has managed to sustain the sense of wonder and discovery that often characterizes the early stages of a relationship.

Prenups and Postnups: Navigating Financial Complexities

As a seasoned divorce attorney, Chinitz has a unique perspective on the role of prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. While she is a proponent of prenups, she didn't push her own children to get one. "Asking for one is emotional, and I had to trust her to make the right choice for her marriage," Chinitz explains.However, Chinitz emphasizes the value of postnuptial agreements, which can provide a sense of security and clarity if a marriage is on the rocks. "If you're still able to work together to define what everyone gets if the marriage should fail, there's comfort for both spouses," she says.Chinitz's approach to financial planning in marriage highlights the importance of tailoring legal strategies to the unique needs and dynamics of each couple. By recognizing the emotional complexities involved, she demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the delicate balance between protecting assets and preserving the integrity of the relationship.

Trusts: An Underutilized Estate Planning Tool

Chinitz advocates for the increased use of trusts in estate planning, particularly for couples entering a marriage with existing children. "The money in that trust and any funds that it generates aren't considered a marital asset," she explains. "If you get divorced, that money isn't part of the settlement since it's an entirely separate legal entity."This insight underscores the potential benefits of proactive estate planning, which can help safeguard assets and ensure a smoother transition in the event of a divorce or other life-altering events. Chinitz's recommendation to consider trusts as a strategic tool challenges the traditional approach to marital asset management and highlights the value of seeking professional guidance to navigate the complexities of modern relationships.