A long-time friend of both the bride and groom shares their experience of attending a wedding where they were invited to the ceremony and reception but excluded from an intermediate dinner. The guest felt left out during a five-hour gap, having to find their own meal while others enjoyed a group dinner. This situation sparked discussions online about wedding etiquette and considerations for guests.
The individual, who has known the couple since college, attended the ceremony from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. and the reception starting at 9 p.m., with a significant time gap in between. During this period, the newlyweds hosted a dinner for approximately 40 people, excluding some guests like the original poster (OP). The OP found themselves wandering around the city, eating a sandwich alone in the cold, feeling somewhat isolated from the festivities.
This unusual arrangement created a sense of discomfort. Many guests were only invited to either the ceremony or the reception, making the OP's dual invitation seem peculiar. The five-hour interval left them uncertain about how to spend the time. The OP expressed feeling out of place, especially when arriving at the warm and welcoming reception later that evening. They wondered if they should have gone home after the ceremony instead of enduring the awkward wait.
Discussing the experience on Reddit’s “Wedding Shaming” forum, the OP received various responses. Commenters debated whether the couple’s decision was due to budget constraints or poor planning. Some suggested it might be a cultural norm in certain regions, such as the Netherlands or the U.K., where smaller, intimate dinners are common between the ceremony and reception.
However, many Redditors agreed that regardless of the reason, the couple should have been more considerate. Suggestions included providing clear instructions on the invitation regarding the day’s schedule and offering recommendations for guests not attending the dinner. The consensus leaned towards the idea that leaving guests to fend for themselves for hours is not ideal and could lead to uncomfortable situations. Overall, the discussion highlighted the importance of thoughtful planning and communication to ensure all guests feel valued and included throughout the wedding day.