I was 19 when that first heart-wrenching loss occurred. It was a moment that left an indelible mark on me. The first line of “His Three Daughters,” “So, you’ve been good, right?” was the very start of our filmmaking journey on Day 1. Carrie Coon delivered this line with such poignancy as I had her in mind while writing for Katie, one of the three sisters at the center of the story. Katie didn't wait for a response; she launched into a passionate diatribe against her sibling. I envisioned this scene against a plain white wall, giving no hint of setting and no opening credits. It was meant to be a surprise, like the unexpected arrival of death, no matter how anticipated it might be.

Embracing the Shortcomings and Fantasies of Film

After that initial loss, I was filled with extreme anger towards movies. I felt deceived as there was no rewind, no slow motion, and no music. The pain didn't simply fade; it became a part of my life that shifted as the absence became more real. This thought stayed with me as I sat down to explore my own experience of loss on the page. I wanted to acknowledge the limitations of the medium while also indulging in the fantasy I craved. In film, I could control a future without my parents in a way I couldn't in reality.Katie's opening monologue set me free. I had often created characters who held their thoughts and grievances inside, only for them to surface in ways they couldn't express. With Katie, all her emotions were laid bare. This led to many questions: Who was she directing her anger at? What had led to this outburst? These were the destinations I wanted to explore.

Emotions Run High as Siblings Gather

As three siblings gather around their dying father in “His Three Daughters,” emotions run high. Christina, played by Elizabeth Olsen, was written with the hope that she would join the cast. Picturing her made me dig deeper, confident that she could find the perfect balance between humor and pain. In the opening, Christina mentions coming from afar and being jet-lagged, blaming it for her current emotional state. But to me, it also hinted at someone who might be in touch with her feelings, perhaps more self-reliant than her siblings.I was embracing the theatrics of life, the roles we play with our families. Role-playing was something I witnessed during these end-of-life moments, even in myself. I became different people within the same day, and this internal struggle between regression and presence could become a dramatic conflict if embodied by different people.

Three Sisters with Different Lives and Stories

Sitting opposite Katie at the beginning was Rachel, played by Natasha Lyonne. I also wrote for Jovan Adepo, who portrays Rachel's boyfriend, Benjy. This entire film was a testament to the belief that sometimes our hopes can come true. Rachel is somewhat based on a person I knew from childhood, whose family was like an extension of my own. But our lives have taken very different paths. With Natasha as Rachel, I could play with assumptions and initially present a character type we might expect from her. The challenge and fun lay in deciding when and how to subvert these expectations.These three sisters are coming together for a common purpose: their father is going to pass. The exact time is uncertain, but it is near and inevitable. If all goes as planned, he will die in the comfort of his home, surrounded by his family. The title “His Three Daughters” is both a question and an answer. They may not view each other as equals, but their father does.Between that first loss at 19 and now, there have been many more. Most of my similarly aged friends have either lost or are losing their parents. Outliving one's parents is often seen as the best outcome, but it doesn't feel natural. For me, it has been a painful and confusing experience. Making “His Three Daughters” was the opposite; it gave me a way to express my emotions and find hope amidst the fear. Having these amazing actors show up on Day 1, not only knowing their lines but also understanding the specific tempo I had in mind and memorizing every punctuation mark, felt like a comforting embrace. Their response to Katie's question was a reassuring “Hey, we got you.”