A 43-year-old woman finds herself in a dilemma as she contemplates whether to split an insurance payout with her 42-year-old estranged husband. Currently, she is shouldering the financial burden of supporting both him and her two children while he works part-time by choice and contributes less than a third of the household expenses. Her car recently met with an accident and was totaled, and she is expecting an insurance payout. As a travel nurse who drives for a living, she desperately needs a new car but doubts if she can afford the payment without this insurance money. The complication arises as her ex claims he is entitled to half of the insurance money as he helped with car payments for four years. The loan and title are in her name, and the car is insured under his name, but she pays for both their car insurances and the shared homeowners insurance herself. She paid the final $12,000 on the $36,000 car loan on her own. She poses the question to fellow Redditors: "Would I be the a—— if I kept the money to put toward a new car?"

Ethical Dilemma and Personal Struggle

This woman is not seeking legal advice but is rather grappling with an ethical question for her own peace of mind. Having been in a relationship that may have left her somewhat "brainwashed," she often finds it difficult to discern what her ex is truly entitled to. The situation has left her in a state of confusion, unsure of how to proceed.

She realizes the importance of making a decision that is not only financially sound but also morally just. The thought of potentially keeping the insurance money for a new car weighs heavily on her, yet she also considers her ex's claim and the potential legal implications.

Legal Counsel and the Importance of Documentation

While the original poster did not seek legal advice, the majority of commenters strongly advised her to consult a divorce lawyer. As one commenter pointed out, "It doesn't matter if you are or aren't an [a——] and it doesn't matter if you think he is or isn't entitled to the money. You need to tell your lawyer. [The] law will determine if he's entitled to any money and, if he is, you will unfortunately have to pay him out."

Another important aspect emphasized by many commenters is the need to keep meticulous records. As one reply read, "Make sure you have the documents to prove it's your car and don't you dare give him anything till sorted out by lawyers and the courts. He sounds a bit petty, good luck sista." Keeping proper documentation will be crucial in determining the outcome of this situation.

Quick Divorce and Financial Protection

Some commenters stressed the urgency of getting divorced as soon as possible. One person wrote, "Get divorced ASAP!! He’s mooching off you and unfortunately he’s probably going to get half your retirement. He’s going to ask for alimony and child support." Another added, "Get a good lawyer!!" A good lawyer will be able to guide her through the legal process and protect her financial interests.

She needs to take decisive action to safeguard her future and that of her children. The longer she delays, the more complicated the situation may become.