Uncover the Films That Made 2024 a Year to Forget
Owen Gleiberman's 5 Worst Films
Poolman, directed by Chris Pine and starring him in a lead role, is an absurdist disaster that defies all logic. Pine's performance as a frowsy, long-haired pool cleaner is a far cry from anything we've seen before. The scenes are filled with dithering half-jokes and wispy warped asides, wrapped around a conspiracy plot that has no resemblance to the classic "Chinatown". It's a film that leaves viewers staring slack-jawed, wondering what on earth they just watched.
Rumours, a film co-directed by Evan Johnson and Galen Johnson, features a group of world leaders led by Cate Blanchett in a rather dull and uneventful setting. The political "satire" turns into top-heavy satirical torture as the leaders meet at the G7 summit and then get lost in the woods, talking endlessly in a phantasmagorically dull way. It's a film that fails to deliver any real substance or entertainment.
Reagan, a schlock Ronald Reagan biopic, was released just in time to support Trump's victory. Dennis Quaid plays Reagan as a hero in a fairy tale, driven by a single issue of fighting Communism. The movie cuts historical corners and turns Reagan into a ranch-hand superhero, making a hash of everything else. It's a film that feels like an infomercial for an aw-shucks cult leader, with no inner conflict or depth.
The End, a stultifying post-apocalyptic left-wing chamber-drama musical set in a bunker, leaves viewers feeling like time itself has stopped. Michael Shannon and Tilda Swinton play the corrupt parents of a wealthy family who have been living in a mockup of a luxe home embedded in an underground salt mine. The songs are a mixed bag, with some being pretty and others sounding like Sondheim rejects, fueling the claustrophobic sensation that the movie goes nowhere.
Lisa Frankenstein, a horror comedy scripted by Diablo Cody, is as flat as day-old soda. The film is based on the "God, the suburbs are hell!" pose of middle-class superiority, which was already tired by the time of "Desperately Seeking Susan". It's an undead teenage slasher romance that feels like the world's most needlessly overcomplicated "SNL" sketch.
Peter Debruge's 5 Worst Films
Dogman, a Netflix film starring Caleb Landry Jones as a cross-dressing, wheelchair-using antihero, is a third-rate "Joker" rip-off. The film is ill-conceived on every level, with a convoluted plot and a police psychologist struggling to tame a deeply traumatized outsider. It's a film that fails to engage viewers and leaves them wondering what the point was.
The Mouse Trap, a schlocky slasher movie, is the result of beloved cultural icons entering the public domain. The film provides zero scares and countless questions, such as why the main character can teleport and why anyone would scream after seeing a guy in a Mickey Mouse mask. It's a lazy film that shows no creativity or imagination.
Not Another Church Movie, a crude and incompetent satire, targets Tyler Perry's self-made media empire. The cross-dressing comic is an easy target for envy and scorn, but the film squanders its potential with its clumsy humor and lack of substance. It's a film that fails to make a lasting impression.
Harold and the Purple Crayon, an adaptation of a beloved picture book, fails to live up to its potential. Instead of going in a million creative directions, Sony repeats the tired idea of bringing cartoon characters into the "real world". It's a film that preaches about the importance of imagination but fails to show any.
Rebel Moon: Director's Cut, a two-part "Star Wars" knockoff directed by Zack Snyder, is a bloodier and sexless version of the same movie. The film is filled with supposedly visionary additions but fails to leave a lasting impression. It's a film that feels like an ambitious kid world-building with borrowed Legos.