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How Cooking with a 98-Year-Old Italian Nonna Healed Grief (Exclusive)
2024-12-07
In 2019, a most remarkable event took place during Christmas. I was fortunate to receive an Italian grandmother, Maria Volontà, who will be 100 years old in February. We have no blood relation; in fact, on the day she first cooked me her Christmas Eve chickpea casserole and declared she would be my nonna, we were strangers. This unexpected connection would change my life in ways I could never have imagined.
The Key to Unlocking the Past
When I was in Calabria, conducting research for a novel set during the Christmas season of 1960, I was referred to Nonna Maria and her daughter, architect Antonella Casile. Arriving at their house, I was greeted by Maria, a woman with a steel trap memory and a musical speaking voice. She shared her memories, proverbs, poems, and songs in her native Greco, and it was clear that she held the key to unlocking the past.We had only been chatting for a few hours when Maria reached across the table and took my hand, offering to be my nonna. This precious friendship would provide solace during the challenging years of the pandemic that was yet to come.Surviving Scarcity with Wisdom
During the pandemic when supermarket shelves were empty, Maria reminded us of the simple pleasures and sustenance staples from her impoverished childhood. Polenta with roasted garlic and brothy pasta with a single egg were delicious reminders that we don't need luxury to be nourished. She taught us that holidays are special because treats were rare in the past, and we should appreciate the labor and planning involved in keeping traditions alive.The Joy of Tradition
That night, I was allowed to leave only on the promise of coming back for "something very special," which turned out to be Maria's chickpea casserole. This recipe has now become a part of my family's holiday traditions, a proof that what is ancient can also be modern. After dinner, I was kidnapped and stayed with Maria and Antonella for two weeks. Watching Maria's generosity and charisma was a balm for my grieving heart.Connecting with Heritage
Over the years, Antonella kept us in touch via WhatsApp. I wrote my novel, "The Lost Boy of Santa Chionia," with Maria and Antonella's guidance. Their names became main characters in the novel, and I was honored to share their story. Traditions are sacred, and connecting with someone else's heritage can bring just as much joy as our own.We can choose to make new traditions sacred and friends into family. As Juliet Grames' "The Lost Boy of Santa Chionia" is now available wherever books are sold, let us cherish these connections and the traditions that make our lives meaningful.